too bad you live with your parents still
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
