it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
