I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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