the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
