I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
