South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
