Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize