I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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