covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Enjoy the penises
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
