He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
