Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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