I'm jealous of your bromance
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
