They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
