Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
