Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
