I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
