Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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