One girl and one boy is just not enough.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
