Whod you bang
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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