I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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