so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
