Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
