this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
