I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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