are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
