mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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