sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You pole danced in your parka.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
