Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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