do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
