she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
