I cockslap morals
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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