I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
