Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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