so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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