I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
