New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
