Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am available for nakedness
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
