it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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