you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
