I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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