A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
