Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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