She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
