I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
