I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
