I'm jealous of your bromance
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
