Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
