the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
