I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
