My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
