Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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