Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
