some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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